I'll Grant you Crazy....but Delusional?

Finally, I am resolved to get back to what this little experiment was suppose to be about all along.
That is, a forum for me to blast my thoughts into cyber space and stop irritating my family and friends with them.

This year has gotten off to a horrible start and I am absolutely miserable, wallowing in the bitter morass, with self-pity oozing from every pore. I am trying to get down to causes and conditions and, at this point, finding it impossible.

I deactivated Facebook (AGAIN!) and know that only five or six people will even see this. Consequently, without the pressure to entertain, hopefully this post will truly be cheaper than therapy and I can get some awareness of just what is going on!

Recently, my mind is returning time and time again to a quote from an anonymous author in an anonymous volume, "Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if he only manages well?"

At its very core, this quote seems absolutely moronic! As a matter of fact, if a survey were done on the streets, I think that 98% of respondents would indicate that "managing well" is the recipe for success.

I mean, that's what I was taught. That's what atheists, agnostics, and most Christians teach. The Christians will wince at that comment! They will say otherwise. They are lying. That's okay! They don't know they are lying. That's why it's a delusion!

This is 'MERICA! John Wayne. Remember? We pull ourselves up by our own boot straps and we "don't depend on nobody for nothing!" (Triple negative intended).

Do I really need to outline where this formula for success has gotten us? Okay, maybe you are perfectly content. Do I really need to outline where this formula for success has gotten me?

Self-reliance continues to leave me falling way short! You have NO IDEA how badly I want to "manage well." I am comparing my insides to your outsides and seemingly, you are managing well.

Or.......are you just as DELUSIONAL as I am?

I call Him God. I make no apology for that! You may call Him Higher Power or Spirit of the Universe. (Those of you atheists and agnostics just see your god in the mirror). I do know this. In the past, God has done for me what I, seemingly, could not do for myself. I am not expecting Him to do the same thing again. I am depending on it!