Monday, November 25, 2013

But It Feels Much Worse

If you are reading this post, you are a true fan of CTT. The reason is that I could not stand the pain any longer and deactivated FB once again. I have such an incredible love/hate relationship with that medium of social interaction. I really hope to stay away this time until after the new year!

Last week was a tough week. I was not able to heed Ray Wylie Hubbard's advice and my expectations crippled me. Even today, expectations just ate my lunch!

Does anyone else despise Meteorologists as much as I do? Is it really necessary to SENSATIONALIZE the weather forecasts as they do? What a joke this weekend turned out to be! The problem is that it's a year round deal. In Texas, we don't even need weathermen (persons to some of you). The forecast is the same every day for 6 months. For the other 6 months, however, these clowns are getting paid to read computer models. I suppose it's a great gig if you can get it!

I can pretty much remember "wind chill" for most of my lifetime. "It's going to get down to 27 degrees tonight. But BUNDLE UP! Cause it's going to feel like it's 25!" Please tell me NO!

Maybe, I'm wrong. But I think this "Heat Index" thing is fairly recent---as in the last couple decades. "Expect the high to be 108. But, it's going to feel like it's 112!" Find me some shade!

Let me go on record as saying that Wind Chill and Heat Index are two of the STUPIDEST things I have ever seen! I just don't get it! And I don't see the need to sensationalize the weather. And I don't know what it says about the state of man, in general, that we absolutely INSIST that things must be much worse than they really are.

The Dallas/Fort Worth area got YET another dose of that over this past weekend. Not watches. Not advisories. Not potential. No! We had Winter Storm Warnings in effect all weekend because the Ice Age Armageddon was on the way! Did anyone really believe it? But more importantly, will anyone pay any attention to the next forecast? What a joke? And some of these esteemed meteorologists are insisting that flurries are possible tonight! Is it really necessary to forecast snow flurries?

So, it's hotter than it really is. It's colder than it really feels. SO, I'm going to blame the stupid weatherman for making it okay for all of us to explain that things are much better (or worse) than they really are. You are happier than you really deserve. Your kids are more successful than they'll ever be. You're making more money than you ever have.

And let's not even go on the negative side. Those of you who are just the opposite...especially those of you who are defined by your WEEKLY Doctor visits.....we know! We All Know! We know more than we EVER wanted to know about you! You are much worse than the Doctor believes!

So, let me encourage everyone to just continue the "Wind Chill/Heat Index" paradigm in your life. Please share your true temperature. But please go on to convince us that it feels much worse than it is! Better yet, put it all on Facebook! Especially, while I'm away!

Monday, November 18, 2013

Tis the Season......for Stupid!

Many readers of CTT are not familiar with my love/hate relationship with Facebook. In my mind, Facebook is just a continuing social experiment where I try to be as inflammatory as possible, in order to see how you will respond. It typically brings me great joy.

However, I have deactivated my account on more than one occasion. Usually, a deactivation occurs during a couple of Seasons. One is vacation season. I struggle with the sin of ENVY. In my mind, all of you check in from the French Riviera and brag of this glorious destination. My envy takes over and I cannot bare to read about it. I know that ALL of you are not in the South of France. But, that's what my narrow mind sees.

We are now in the second season of the year when I am most likely to deactivate. Tis the Season! Dear friends, people I love, people I admire, along with people who generally irritate me will be posting some of the most RIDICULOUS thoughts and opinions to ever be blasted into cyber-space! It truly drives me insane and deepens my conviction that this little experience here on the Planet is just an exercise in futility.

For starters, this overwhelming gratitude that is about OVERCOME you is probably not a bad thing. The world could use some gratitude. I even mentioned it last week. What I did NOT say is this: "Okay folks, I mentioned gratitude in my Blog. Now, in the next 10 minutes, if you do not create a gratitude blog, post 30 things you're grateful for, copy it to everyone's page, link it to Pinterest, and invite 13 homeless people to your house for Thanksgiving......then you are a SPAWN of Satan and the fires of Hell cannot, in any way, be hot enough for you!"

I know this is America. I know that we turn EVERYTHING into a competition. It's kind of like the other day when I saw a link to the Yoga Championships! I couldn't wait to call the Denton Yogi and inquire as to the origins of the "breathing, meditating" competition! Really? BTW, the Denton Yogi does not approve of any such contests. Just like, I don't approve of these "off-putting" gratitude contests that so many of you try to drag me into.

Of course, these Thanksgiving Gratitude Contests pale in comparison to the "Keep Christ in Christmas" campaign that will soon adorn the Timelines of the Christians. Is it really any wonder that Christians are so despised? It would be comical if you were not just so STINKING sad!

I saw my first Christmas Rant last week. I love this man deeply and will not identify him by name or nickname. He's been mentioned in CTT before. I was hoping that someone had hijacked his FB Account. We've not discussed it yet. I'm still holding out hope that a "hijacking" was indeed the case.

Regrettably, I commented on the post. Now, I owe an amends to the Timeline Owner and the MORON who decided that arguing with ME would be a good idea! But, please, let me quote quote this DEBATER with an IQ evidently smaller than his shoe size:

"As I see it, any opportunity to celebrate the birth of Christ is a good opportunity to spread the Gospel, and why wouldn't one encourage pagans to NOT celebrate a holiday that is meaningless without Christ?"

From the numerous private messages I received like "Bless his heart" and "That guy is pitiful", I am certain that I do not need to break down the glaring inconsistencies in that comment!

This will not stop the Christians, however, from fighting the good fight. With intolerance, malice, contempt and venom, they will demand that we keep Christ in Christmas during the next 30 days! Moreover, they will be DISGUSTED by any Agnostic, Jew, or Atheist that dares to put up a tree!

Why does NO ONE else see what is crystal clear to me?

Tis the Season! Merry ChrismaHannaKwanziKuh!

Monday, November 11, 2013

One More For Ray Wylie Hubbard!

Al the Barber and Shoe continue to stress the importance of self-awareness to me. It's funny because the two of them have never met. And they are more DELUSIONAL than me. But I find both of them to be entertaining and they challenge me to keep things in perspective.

That being said, I continue to FORGET the original premise for this little experiment. CTT was never supposed to be about you! YOU make me nuts! I don't DO you very well! YOU are the reason for my neurosis! So, why am I stressing about this little experiment and what, at times, feels like a DEADLINE instead of a little Therapy? Self-awareness clearly points out that this thing is dying a slow death. All the stress in the world is not going to change that.

It's not uncommon for me to start hearing from some of you on Sunday night regarding the next morning's post. That happened again last night. As I sit here, a dear friend just hit me up in Facebook Chat inquiring as to where today's post is? Oh, my precious ego! Stop it!

Have no fear. I am not out of ideas. I keep a list going of potential topics going. I fear that I'm getting a little repetitive and, quite frankly, a little boring. But, Number 41 is happening because these  are things that I NEED to hear. As the list of NEW bloggers grows, I chuckle at what they think I NEED to hear. Good luck to you NEWBIES. Drop me a line when you get to 40!

It was one of THOSE weekends! Remember those weekends? Completely out of my comfort zone. My brain is too big for my head. My nerves are five inches out of the end of my fingers. I am completely self-absorbed. Wallowing in self-pity! Restless, irritable, and discontent do not even begin to describe how I'm feeling this Monday morning.

You already know the reason. I'm not going to look back at the archives to see which Post it was. But I am certain that it has been addressed. EXPECTATIONS! The sheer weight of my expectations are once again crushing me and driving me insane!

I think it started last Monday when no one really cared to challenge my "pro-judging" stance. I was certain that a backlash would ensue! Maybe there was no backlash because I was 100% correct in my analysis. Ha!

Anyway, last week was an entire week of UN-MET expectations. The major change was that, in this particular instance, I was failing to meet my own expectations and your failure to meet my expectations was not near as troubling. Progress? Perhaps.

A few months ago, Spring suggested that I search on Youtube for a performance Ray Wylie Hubbard on David Lettermen. I met Ray about 20 years ago and was literally star-struck that I was shaking the hand of the Author of "Redneck Mother!" True Greatness!

So, I searched and found Ray's performance. It's an interesting song about singing in a little bar in Dallas, back in the day. I won't tell the story. At the end, however, this true Texas Poet concludes:

"And the days I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really GOOD days."

It's that time of year. Gratitude is about to be shoved down our throats at every turn. I suppose I've never written yet about gratitude and it's very likely that I never will. The main reason is that I try to write about things with which I have a little experience. Gratitude seems to escape me. I'm not talking about this "30 Days of Gratitude" on Facebook crap! I apologize if you are doing one of those exercises. I find them as annoying as the annual Christmas letters we are about to start receiving in the mail. But if it's your thing, knock yourself out!

I'm talking about real gratitude. Gratitude that exceeds expectations! I'm not sure what real gratitude is. And I'm not real sure what real gratitude looks like. And I'm certain that I have a long way to go before my gratitude will exceed my expectations. But, Ray Wylie Hubbard seems to think it results in REALLY GOOD days. I hope to eventually have one of those days!

Monday, November 4, 2013

Becoming What you Hate!

Well kids, today's post is Number 40! Never in my wildest imagination did I think this little experiment would continue this long. Historically, I've been a decent STARTER and a horrible FINISHER! I don't think Vegas had a "line" as to the longevity of CTT. But I can't imagine the "over/under" being much higher than a dozen.  Anyone who is really close to me would have taken the "under" on that!

We've actually covered a lot of topics. I get requests all the time. BTW, I have never taken on any requested topic. My usual response is " is a FREE platform! Knock yourself out!"

 I do take pride in the fact that I've avoided topics that are just too easy. For example, I would really like to pontificate about the little bit of jogging I do and how it's made an impact on my life. But, in reality, you could not care any less and would tire of that quickly.

Politics would also be easy. I could be a "tea-party, right wing, extremist" one week. Then, just for giggles, turn into a "tree-hugging, whale-saving, anti-nuke pinko" the next. I really can argue both sides for just about any issue. VOMIT! You would see right through that and recognize it for what it is....just an attempt to be inflammatory and create a stir.

No, I've really tried to stay faithful to my original premise. That is, to write about the crazy things that run around in my head and shoot them out into cyber-space! Some weeks the public response is bigger than others. But I wish you all could read the private messages I get. Many of them sound something like this, "Kevin, I've been thinking the same thing for years. But there's NO WAY I would EVER admit to it on the World Wide Web!"

Which brings me to today's topic. Some of you implied, suggested, discerned or whatever you want to call it......that I was being a little judgmental of the Keynoter last week. Think about that REAL hard! Let me say it again:

Some of you implied, suggested, or discerned that I was passing JUDGEMENT on the Keynoter!

Really? Really?? I was passing judgement? This whole idea of "not judging" and the Bible verses that you throw at me to support your position, lead to some of the most unbelievable, yet entertaining, conversations I ever participate in.

Oh I get it! I really do! You are not judging! You are using discernment! You make it very clear that you would never judge! You sound like an absolute moron trying to support your position. But, you are entertaining!

It kind of looks like this.....In my faith tradition, there seems to be an ever-increasing gap between the "harsh, critical, mean-spirited Conservatives" and the "kind, loving, grace-filled Liberals." I absolutely abhor LABELS. But they are necessary to make the point.

The Conservatives are kind of boring. They know they are judgmental. They kind of relish in it. But the Liberals are delicious to talk to. God love 'em! They turn almost purple with rage. That vein on the temples of their heads looks as though it's bout to burst. They actually spit a little as they LOVINGLY explain, "I am just sick and tired of those hateful, judgmental, legalistic Pharisees! They are destroying the church and they WILL burn in Hell!"

I think that's the problem with becoming enlightened! Becoming enlightened is very seldom based in truth. Therefore, the enlightened ones are never able to come to grips with the fact they have BECOME WHAT THEY HATE!

I had a dude just wear me out one time about being judgmental. There was only one problem. I knew where he lived and I knew where he attended church. I think a conservative estimate would be that he drove right past 15-20 churches in order to get where he attended. He honestly thought he was using discernment as he passed those 15-20 churches on his way to church. I said, "Dude, just pull into the first church building closest to your house. It saves time. It saves money. It's better for the environment. Don't drive so far. And please don't pass by SO many churches to get there. Because even though you are too enlightened to ever see it, when you get to that 20th building, you've just passed judgement 19 times!"

Matthew 7:1 will be all over the Comments Section of this Blog and my Facebook Wall by the end of the day. Just do me a favor and read Verse 2. I'm okay with Verse 2. The only question you need to answer is, "Are you?"