I Resemble That Remark

When a joke, jab, or insult is directed my way, a customary response is, "I resemble that remark." That's a lie! I do not resemble that remark. I RESENT it! In every joke, there's a little bit of truth. And if you are brave enough to point out one of my flaws in a group setting, fasten your seat belt. Because, there WILL be a response. It will be swift, certain, and often times caustic. I generally do not play well with others, and I seldom play fair.

I'm a little shocked that I'm well over twenty posts into this little experiment and this is my first "go" at this whole idea of resentments. Maybe it's because I've been sitting on a couple of good ones for a few months and they are starting to eat my lunch. Justified? Certainly! All of my resentments are justified. In general, YOU make me nuts! And there is so much temporary relief in resenting you and your defects. I take some kind of sick joy in it. And the best part is......as long as I'm concentrating on you, I do NOT have to look at myself.

In former posts, I've shared my affection for attorneys and their willingness to tell on themselves (outside the courtroom, of course). It's been over twenty years since I heard this example of  a resentment and it had a profound impact on my understanding of how my twisted mind thinks.

I was listening to a fairly prominent attorney discuss resentments and he had a "dandy" that he shared with the audience. It seems that one of the people he hated most and resented greatly was the president of the local Bar Association. He went into much detail about this guy because he obviously thought he would make a much better president of the Bar. He attended a more prominent Law School. He worked for much "higher-tone" law firm. He made a lot more money. He participated in cases of  higher notoriety. He lived in a bigger house. He drove a nicer car. On and on and on, this gentleman droned and almost worked himself into a lather over the fact the he thought he should be the president of the Bar and not this charlatan who was.

Then, he made a statement I will never forget. He said, "Mind you, I had NEVER been to a meeting of the local Bar Association!"

What? Did I miss something here? Do I need to hear the defense of his position again? The answer is no! Because as embarrassing and silly as his admission was.....I whole-heartedly and completely understood it. In fact, I resembled that remark!

What I learned that night (and seemed to have forgotten over the last few months) is that most of my resentments are imagined. And the real ones are just as useless and time-consuming as the imagined ones. That's not even taking into consideration the fact that I need to dedicate an entire post to the concept that the very thing I hate most about you is the very characteristic that is most like me.

Resentments render me useless. The "free rent" they take in my mind rob me of precious brain space that I could employ in more productive ways. They pour gas on the fire of restlessness and irritability that you've read about in here so many times.

In some circles, resentments are referred to as the "number one offender." For me, that could not be a truer statement. It's time for me to get past this "season of resentment" and get on with being the productive man I was created to be.