Many of my friends have heard me discuss the fact that on most days, I live my life in the "wreckage of the future." I even preached a sermon by that Title one time. The week before, when I announced the Title of next week's sermon, a visiting Bible Professor from Abilene Christian University looked at me like he was having an aneurysm and said, "What did you say?" Bless his heart! That's the problem with Bible Professors at Christian Universities. They have absolutely NO idea how to take scripture and make an application that will mean something on Monday morning at 8 AM. But that's another Blog for another day.
I find that for the most part, people spend a lot of time of time trying to clean the wreckage of the past. But, they have no idea, and have never really given any thought to the idea that, in reality, they are living in the wreckage of the future.
I often assert (probably just denial) that I have given up on trying to have a better past! Oh, it hits me sometime. Mostly at night, when I can't get to sleep. I will fall into the trap of morbid reflection and play all the "what ifs..." and the "woulda, shoulda, couldas...." over and over again in my crazy brain.
But during the day, when I'm caffeined up and managing my day......TRUST me....almost all my thoughts project me right into the wreckage of the future!
What's wrong with the present? Why does the "here and now" unsettle me so? Why do I find it so hard to live right here, right now, and simply go about doing the next right thing in front of me?
Most of you who know me think that this introduction has all been a "set-up" to discuss my devotion to running. Oooh! I heard it....the collective sigh! No one can believe that I've been at this over a month and have not mentioned the running one time. No, I'm not heading in that direction. I think everyone is pretty "beaten" by my hobby! However, I will reserve the right to go there. Eventually, I'm gonna be out of material!
In fact, I'm headed just the opposite direction. Last Fall, my Yogi friend suggested that I would benefit greatly (since I refuse to do Yoga) from daily.......oh no! don't say it! please don't go there!.......MEDITATION!
She even sent me a link to a website where some Zen Buddhist would lead me through a "guided meditation." Well, we know a couple of things: 1) I'm not gonna pay Grasshopper to teach me to meditate! 2) But, I could not turn down the 10 Day Free Trial!
Oh, trust me! I have "played" with meditation over the years. It looks like this. Get real still. Breath real deep! And think, "Meditate, meditate, meditate, BILLS, meditate, meditate, meditate, JOB, meditate, meditate, meditate, SEX, meditate, meditate, meditate, FAIL! All that occurred in about a minute and a half! And it would dawn on me that meditation was not for me.
Well, let me say, that my experience with Grasshopper was just the opposite! He gave me permission to fail (it's okay if the mind wanders). He helped me to get into the present. Right here! Right now! And probably for the first time in my life.....for 10 straight days, for 10 minutes each day, I was in the present, simply thinking about the next breath. Potentially, this could have been a life-changing experience, if I would only put into practice what this dude was trying to teach me. But I think about it on occasion. And I am reminded of the certainty, that right here, right now, I am blessed. All my NEEDS are satisfied! All else are just WANTS! In trying to satisfy the WANTS, I am projected right into the Wreckage of the Future!
The Old Man in Farmers Branch says, "He who has one eye on tomorrow, and one eye on yesterday, is COCK-EYED today. Here's to eyes that look straight ahead today!
1 comment :
This post has caused me to think way harder than I ever intended today. I was considering the topic of the "past" when I remembered a time when I caught one of my kids being dishonest with me. During part of the three hour lecture I gave her on the perils of dishonesty, I told her; "You are at a stage in life where you will soon be wanting more freedom and responsibility. You will be driving soon, etc. etc. etc.. In order for me to allow you to do those things, I have to be able to trust you and right now, you have a history of being dishonest and untrustworthy. So if you want to regain my trust, the onus is on you to build a new history with me." Fast-forward to today. So I was reading your blog, thinking about this and a thought occurred to me... Maybe it's time "I created a new history with me". This prompted me to reflect on my past and consider things I might do differently today to "create a better history" tomorrow. During my reflection I realized, I actually have a pretty great past. It's not perfect by any measure, but to say anything other than the blessings I have experienced have greatly over shadowed the negatives, would just be complaining. I live the lifestyle I choose with great kids, an awesome wife and wonderful friends. I have a sound mind (sometimes), decent health and I am a Texan. It was at this point I came to a very poignant conclusion... Despite my best efforts to continually screw up the present, God has seen fit to bless me with a pretty incredible past.
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