Reality Schmeality!

This weekend was one of those self-pitying, woe is me, my life sucks kind of weekends. NO! STOP THAT! They are not ALL like that for me. But, I found myself reflecting on the "reality" of the situation and with my refusal to reach out to anyone to "keep me in check", I sort of slid into the abyss.

It was my first Father's Day in 21 years that I didn't have at least one of kids with me. One is living in another state and the other is traipsing around England. My wife was trying to get through her first Father's Day without her Dad. I could have gotten out of myself and tried to console and comfort her. But the self-centeredness WON again. No surprise there!

Shoe made me go with him to visit a dying man in hospice. One would think that a little gratitude would arise from that effort. Maybe it did. But it was brief and fleeting.

No, I found myself contemplating reality. I was attempting to do it by myself. I was alone in my head--- a very dangerous neighborhood. I was doomed to fail from the very start.

Stainless paints a negative picture of man and his ability to face reality when he unabashedly states that "People are naturally and perfectly capable of IGNORING reality in order to meet a personal desire." At the surface, the statement almost sounds like an asset. Not so much!

From marital vows, to child-rearing responsibilities, to job-related commitments, to participation in healthy life-style choices.....REALITY is often ignored and outright abandoned in order to do what we WANT to do. The consequences of this behavior cannot be quantified!

We all do it. No one is immune. It is the human condition. As always, you are no doubt thinking, "Well Kev, you are pretty good at the problem! Any solution?"

First and foremost I am committed TODAY (okay the next 10 minutes) to stop evaluating YOUR talents at ignoring reality. I've got a couple of friends who are "acting a fool." I'm giving them too much free rent in my head. They are on the precipice of reaping what they've sown. I must be willing to let that happen in order for them to learn the lesson they must learn.

Secondly, I am going to attempt to face and stay in the  reality of my situation. The Denton Yogi calls it "living in your truth." That makes me a little tense because you all know I'm afraid of "truth creation." But I think what she's trying to say was muttered years ago by Bill Shakespeare when he said, "To thine own self be true."

Finally, I'm gonna heed the advice of a dear friend who died a few years ago. Soon before her death, I was explaining to her how I was doing "just enough" to manage my life and just get by. She said something to the effect of "You poor, pathetic little man! It's God's job to manage your life! It's your job to go out and try to be a blessing to His kids."

Even yesterday, if I had simply tried to be a blessing to my wife in her grief, the reality of my situation would not have seemed so grim. In fact, gratitude would have taken over as I thought about what a great job she did with those kids and reflected on how proud I am, and how much I love that kid in Louisiana and that kid running around the UK.