It sure is easy to say. Just rolls right off the tongue. I've said it for years. Any time, anyone has come to me with questions or concerns about their children, I have piously reminded them that "God doesn't any grandkids. He only has kids."
This past weekend, those words came back to haunt me in ways that I truly never expected. The weekend turned out to be reflective, emotional, fearful, and generally just anxiety-filled.
My Angel Baby got engaged Friday night! It was no surprise to me as her fiance had called in advance, seeking my blessing. So, I knew Friday was the night. Teressa knew. All of Jentry's friends knew. Chad's friends knew. The southern part of metro Nashville knew! Evidently, this guy is quite the romantic sap, and he pulled off quite the Coup. (No doubt this subject will rise again in future posts).
We spent Saturday viewing social media and all the activities of the night. Jentry posted a pic on her FB page with the caption, "I get to keep him forever." I felt that one in my gut!
In addition to that, on Saturday, Big Tuck boarded an Airbus 380, headed to Dubai, with a final destination of Kuwait City. He is a member of Raising Cane's first international "New Restaurant Opening Team."
And that was it! In the blink of an eye, I had to turn my kids over to God. Seemingly, my kids are on the paths that we raised them to be on. My job seems complete, and I am finally seeing that their future rests in God's hands and I am powerless over trying to orchestrate the outcomes.
What a year thus far! My Angel Baby has trekked all over Europe, with a backpack on her back. My wife spent twelve days cruising around the Mediterranean. Tucker was all over the Southwest, opening new restaurants, while preparing to head off to the Persian Gulf. And seemingly, all this occurred without any need of my protection and control. God was in control the entire time. And He provided for their care and protection.
Abruptly, the words I have shared with so many of you got shoved right back down my throat this weekend. I've had to come to grips with the fact that, truly, God Does Not Have Any Grandkids!
For that, I am humbled. But mostly, for that, I am grateful.
Wednesday, September 9, 2015
Monday, August 31, 2015
Hoping To Obtain A Better Past
Some time ago, I either read or heard the statement, "I've finally given up on trying to have a better past."
Funny! Real funny! LOL, ROFL, LMAO!
It really is kind of funny. I would dearly love to laugh at this sentiment. And I would. Oh, I would, if the thought of it did not make me want to break down and cry.
Some time, very early on in this little experiment, I titled an entry "Wreckage of the Future," or some such. And on that day, I was being as brutally honest as possible. And today, I really still feel that way. In my mind, it seems that I always project to the wreckage of the future. Fear, plain and simple. Terror, actually! It is startling how, when anything does not go my way, within a matter of seconds, I've lost it all, and am living under the bridge at Hines Boulevard and Northwest Highway.
However, you all know that I've been meditating now since the first of the year. Quite proud of that, actually. As of this morning, over 200 sessions, and nearly 50 hours of total time spent in meditation. That fact is nothing short of astounding for me. But I digress.
What the true attempt to be PRESENT has taught me is that I really, really need, hope, and aspire to a WAY BETTER PAST. Do any of you realize just how hard that is to accomplish? It seems almost impossible! And I'm getting real, real close to giving up on the whole idea.
The "shoulda , coulda, wouldas" paralyze me. They pretty much render me worthless and completely prohibit me from being of any kind of real service to God and my fellow man. And, trust me, my fellow man is in BAD shape. I talk to people daily who are in real crisis. They are in pain. They are fearful. They are lost. The need some hope. And time and time again, the thought crosses my mind that I could actually help them, if only I had made some different decisions in June of 1991, September of 1983, or any list of dates.
All these thoughts are probably rising to the surface as I approach the one year anniversary of turning down the preaching gig. In my heart of hearts, I did the right thing. I simply was not ready to take that on. Oddly, my detractors are convinced that they are responsible for that decision. They insincerely apoplogised to me for making me back out. Bless their hearts! No, the reality is, my supporters caused me to rethink the decision and realize that the timing was all wrong. To this day, they don't know that. Maybe, it is best that they don't. I suppose there is some regret about the Blog post that completely burned that bridge. But I truly didn't think the post was that offensive. The "hate text" from the guy who was not even a member at that church seemed to indicate that it was. But, what are you going to do? God love him!
Today, I am resolved to GIVING UP ON THE WHOLE IDEA OF TRYING TO HAVE A BETTER PAST. It is SO exhausting. And if you are plagued with the "coulda, shoulda, wouldas," you might consider joining me.
Funny! Real funny! LOL, ROFL, LMAO!
It really is kind of funny. I would dearly love to laugh at this sentiment. And I would. Oh, I would, if the thought of it did not make me want to break down and cry.
Some time, very early on in this little experiment, I titled an entry "Wreckage of the Future," or some such. And on that day, I was being as brutally honest as possible. And today, I really still feel that way. In my mind, it seems that I always project to the wreckage of the future. Fear, plain and simple. Terror, actually! It is startling how, when anything does not go my way, within a matter of seconds, I've lost it all, and am living under the bridge at Hines Boulevard and Northwest Highway.
However, you all know that I've been meditating now since the first of the year. Quite proud of that, actually. As of this morning, over 200 sessions, and nearly 50 hours of total time spent in meditation. That fact is nothing short of astounding for me. But I digress.
What the true attempt to be PRESENT has taught me is that I really, really need, hope, and aspire to a WAY BETTER PAST. Do any of you realize just how hard that is to accomplish? It seems almost impossible! And I'm getting real, real close to giving up on the whole idea.
The "shoulda , coulda, wouldas" paralyze me. They pretty much render me worthless and completely prohibit me from being of any kind of real service to God and my fellow man. And, trust me, my fellow man is in BAD shape. I talk to people daily who are in real crisis. They are in pain. They are fearful. They are lost. The need some hope. And time and time again, the thought crosses my mind that I could actually help them, if only I had made some different decisions in June of 1991, September of 1983, or any list of dates.
All these thoughts are probably rising to the surface as I approach the one year anniversary of turning down the preaching gig. In my heart of hearts, I did the right thing. I simply was not ready to take that on. Oddly, my detractors are convinced that they are responsible for that decision. They insincerely apoplogised to me for making me back out. Bless their hearts! No, the reality is, my supporters caused me to rethink the decision and realize that the timing was all wrong. To this day, they don't know that. Maybe, it is best that they don't. I suppose there is some regret about the Blog post that completely burned that bridge. But I truly didn't think the post was that offensive. The "hate text" from the guy who was not even a member at that church seemed to indicate that it was. But, what are you going to do? God love him!
Today, I am resolved to GIVING UP ON THE WHOLE IDEA OF TRYING TO HAVE A BETTER PAST. It is SO exhausting. And if you are plagued with the "coulda, shoulda, wouldas," you might consider joining me.
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
Eaten Alive!
In her recent book, Blackout, Sarah Hepola quotes David Foster Wallace, from a commencement address he gave at Kenyon College:
Seemingly, everyone I talk to, everyone I follow on the Twitter, every news story I see on the TV or the Internet.....this ENTIRE planet is being eaten alive!
For the most part, I could not give a popcorn fart about any of it. I've been accused of not "suffering fools." And if you are just THAT stupid, if you are just THAT ignorant, if you are just THAT unaware.....I have absolutely NOTHING for you.
But the calls still come in. My phone still rings. And very often, on the other end of the call, is someone who is being EATEN ALIVE, because the object of their worship is not God!
Wives, kids, jobs, exes, hobbies, coworkers, employers, churches, flags, governments, politicians, celebrities, sports figures......the list goes on and on and on and on.
I find myself getting caught up in it, too. And I find it to be an empty, empty place. Our need to worship, being radically displaced in things and people other than God is eating us alive!
Maybe, I will offer a solution in the coming weeks. Or maybe, I'll just let you discover it on your own. But discovery is must! For I truly believe, that a RECKONING is near!
"In the day-to-day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship. And an outstanding reason for choosing some sort of God or spiritual-type thing to worship---be it J.C. or Allah, be it Yahweh or the Wiccan mother-goddess or the Four Noble Truths or some infrangible set of ethical principles---is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive."I cannot get this quote out of mind. And those of you who know me, know that four of these options are not on the table, for me, as objects of worship. But the idea of being "eaten alive" by any other object of worship has been resounding in my mind ever since I read this passage one night last week.
Seemingly, everyone I talk to, everyone I follow on the Twitter, every news story I see on the TV or the Internet.....this ENTIRE planet is being eaten alive!
For the most part, I could not give a popcorn fart about any of it. I've been accused of not "suffering fools." And if you are just THAT stupid, if you are just THAT ignorant, if you are just THAT unaware.....I have absolutely NOTHING for you.
But the calls still come in. My phone still rings. And very often, on the other end of the call, is someone who is being EATEN ALIVE, because the object of their worship is not God!
Wives, kids, jobs, exes, hobbies, coworkers, employers, churches, flags, governments, politicians, celebrities, sports figures......the list goes on and on and on and on.
I find myself getting caught up in it, too. And I find it to be an empty, empty place. Our need to worship, being radically displaced in things and people other than God is eating us alive!
Maybe, I will offer a solution in the coming weeks. Or maybe, I'll just let you discover it on your own. But discovery is must! For I truly believe, that a RECKONING is near!
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