The Problem Is So Warm and Squishy

Imagine this scene. I'm sitting out by the pool, at a fairly decent hotel, in St. Thomas, U.S.V.I. Oh, the good part? It was a church trip. (Some churches simply do a better job of picking their mission points than others). I am in full fledged RANT to an Elder in that church. In my mind, he was one of the wisest men I've ever known and one of only two or three elders, in my entire lifetime, that I would give 50 cents for.

He actually listened. He did not interrupt. He did not roll his eyes. He was attentive. He let me wear myself down, until I was nearly out of breath. Then, he said, "Well, Kevin. Are you gonna be part of of the problem or part of the solution?"

That conversation happened THIRTY YEARS ago, and I dare say that a week has not passed, in those thirty years, that his question has not haunted me. And except for a few brief periods in my life, I have made the conscious decision to be a part of the PROBLEM.

Staying in the problem is where I'm most comfortable. The problem is familiar to me. It's just like a fresh meadow muffin, dropped by a Jersey cow. It's warm. It's squishy. And I just settle down in it, and lay there, completely unaware of the foul odor that surrounds me.

I just had a lousy week! Starting with last week's post and the realization of just how powerless I am, I spent the entire week spiralling down into the abyss of of GROSS intolerance. I have never seen it more clearly. When I don't feel in control, and the powerlessness is so prevalent, I simply cannot abide you! NONE of you! IDIOTS! After a somewhat emotional weekend last weekend, and the resulting realizations that arose from that, I spent the entire week bumping into, talking to, and conferring with IDIOTS!

Then, seemingly without provocation, those silly cliches pour in. "If you spot it, you got it!" "By the time you've encountered your 3rd idiot of the day, you might want to look in the mirror."

I hate the cliches. They torment me! But, interestingly, they are STILL the problem. Very little solution in taping the problem to the bathroom mirror. It's still the problem!

I'm not in the solution yet. So I dare not try to address it. The solution will have to be addressed in a future post.

Meanwhile, I will just lay back and relax in the problem. So warm! So squishy!