A few years ago, Shoe and I had the opportunity to hear a guy give a talk that impacted us both greatly. As a matter of fact, we seldom have a conversation that the dude's name is not mentioned. That fact may not sound like much of a big deal. But Shoe and I speak on the phone, at least once a day, EVERY day!
The bad news for this guy is that I recently got hold of his email address. Remembering the tired cliche, "nothing ventured, nothing gained," I fired off an email to this old hippie from California, with little or no expectation of what I would get back. He did respond and we spent the better part of a week corresponding via email and now it's become a bucket list item to one day have a cup of coffee with the dude, face to face.
This brief correspondence filled the coffers with possible topics for my little blog. I suppose, however, that they will need to marinade in my little brain for quite some time before I am capable of tackling them. One thing he said, though, is pounding in my brain like a clanging cymbal. It will not go away! Naturally, it involves possibly my greatest character flaw. What he said was something like this:
"Nothing is personal! THEY are not doing it to YOU. THEY are just doing what THEY do, and YOU happen to be in the blast radius."
He's joking, right? He could not possibly mean that. There is no possible way he actually believes that asinine comment.
Oh, it does kind of echo similar sentiments that have been expressed to me over the years. "Kevin, don't take things so personal." "Kevin, why do you take everything so personally?" "Kevin, believe it or not, everything on the planet is NOT all about you!"
Last Friday, my inability to practice this simple awareness hit me right between the eyes. On a topic that has absolutely NOTHING to do with me, I heard an absolute idiot express the stupidest opinion I have ever heard, and that dummy lived "rent free" in my head for the rest of the day! And I would be lying if I said he didn't creep back into my tortured brain on more than one occasion over the weekend.
My negative self-talk, on any given day, gives me dozens of reasons to hate myself. This one, however, is NUMBER 1! For me, even at 51 years old, this is my Hardest Lesson of All.
I think that the self- loathing is amplified by the fact that today was my 256th day in a row to meditate. Is it working at all?
Those closest to me seem to think that the meditation is making a difference. So, I'm not going to give up hope. And for today, or maybe the rest of the morning, or maybe for just the next 5 minutes, I'm going to just sit back and relax in the blast radius. And with all the earnestness in my heart, I'm going to try and remember that "they are simply doing what they do."
Monday, April 4, 2016
Friday, March 11, 2016
I'll Alert The Media
Probably the most overused movie quote incorporated in our house is from the the movie Arthur. When Arthur informed his manservant of his intentions to take a bath, Hobson promptly replied, "I'll alert the media." Hardly a week passes, in our house, that when some one's immediate plans are being discussed, one of us quickly responds, "I'll alert the media."
Lately, my little brain has been considering mankind's need for significance and his almost ridiculous lust for recognition. Indeed, I am beginning to believe that man's search for significance may lead to the undoing of us all. And I really haven't thought this all the way through. Maybe "search for significance" and "need for recognition" are two separate entities. Quite possibly, they are worthy of their own posts. But for today's rant, I am going to jump back and forth between the two. It's okay. It's my blog.
For years, I've belonged to a Fellowship that rents a meeting space here in town. It is well known among the members that "clean-up" is every Saturday morning at 9:00 A.M. Several years ago, I looked up and realized that only two members were there for clean-up. Spring was there. And I was there. I asked Spring if the two of us were going to clean this place by ourselves. He looked at me and said, "Yes we are. And we're not gonna tell a soul." How funny is that! Poor Spring. He actually thought that I was going to be of service and not get any recognition. I looked him squarely in the eye and replied, "You may not plan on telling anybody. But I'm telling everyone I know!"
Spring's idea of service without recognition was quite possibly the stupidest thing that I had ever heard of. I mean it was truly a ROFL moment for me. I would like to tell you that things have changed over the years. Sadly, they haven't, for the most part.
The old adage "if you spot it, you got it" really rings true with the condition with which I suffer. And man oh man, can I ever spot it! You are out there killing yourselves for recognition. You so need to be significant. You truly need the recognition. And it's happening at every level in society....from parking lot attendants at places of worship to occupiers of the most powerful seats of power in the nation. We have a crazy, almost insane obsession with making a name for ourselves....to be significant....to be recognized. It is literally killing a couple of people with whom I used to be very close. It makes me sad. But I am forced to sit idly by and let them learn this important life lesson.
There is good news. There are exceptions. They do exist. They are out there. I remember a couple of folks from my youth who exemplified what a true servant might look like. The Old Man married one of these strange people after my mother died. How he got so lucky, I'll never know. It was his second wife in a row that exemplified servant hood. Just a few houses down from me are a couple of people who have served on every board, committee, organization, and booster club that time will permit for two people who also have full time jobs.
I've never talked to them about it or interviewed them as to why? I've just simply observed. For nearly twenty years, I've just observed.
Seemingly, these people and a small percentage of the inhabitants of our planet seek to be of service without accolades or recognition. It's a foreign concept to me. But evidently, they do it. And they do it because
It is just the right thing to do.
"The fruit of faith is Love. The fruit of love is Service. The fruit of service is Peace." --Mother Teresa
Lately, my little brain has been considering mankind's need for significance and his almost ridiculous lust for recognition. Indeed, I am beginning to believe that man's search for significance may lead to the undoing of us all. And I really haven't thought this all the way through. Maybe "search for significance" and "need for recognition" are two separate entities. Quite possibly, they are worthy of their own posts. But for today's rant, I am going to jump back and forth between the two. It's okay. It's my blog.
For years, I've belonged to a Fellowship that rents a meeting space here in town. It is well known among the members that "clean-up" is every Saturday morning at 9:00 A.M. Several years ago, I looked up and realized that only two members were there for clean-up. Spring was there. And I was there. I asked Spring if the two of us were going to clean this place by ourselves. He looked at me and said, "Yes we are. And we're not gonna tell a soul." How funny is that! Poor Spring. He actually thought that I was going to be of service and not get any recognition. I looked him squarely in the eye and replied, "You may not plan on telling anybody. But I'm telling everyone I know!"
Spring's idea of service without recognition was quite possibly the stupidest thing that I had ever heard of. I mean it was truly a ROFL moment for me. I would like to tell you that things have changed over the years. Sadly, they haven't, for the most part.
The old adage "if you spot it, you got it" really rings true with the condition with which I suffer. And man oh man, can I ever spot it! You are out there killing yourselves for recognition. You so need to be significant. You truly need the recognition. And it's happening at every level in society....from parking lot attendants at places of worship to occupiers of the most powerful seats of power in the nation. We have a crazy, almost insane obsession with making a name for ourselves....to be significant....to be recognized. It is literally killing a couple of people with whom I used to be very close. It makes me sad. But I am forced to sit idly by and let them learn this important life lesson.
There is good news. There are exceptions. They do exist. They are out there. I remember a couple of folks from my youth who exemplified what a true servant might look like. The Old Man married one of these strange people after my mother died. How he got so lucky, I'll never know. It was his second wife in a row that exemplified servant hood. Just a few houses down from me are a couple of people who have served on every board, committee, organization, and booster club that time will permit for two people who also have full time jobs.
I've never talked to them about it or interviewed them as to why? I've just simply observed. For nearly twenty years, I've just observed.
Seemingly, these people and a small percentage of the inhabitants of our planet seek to be of service without accolades or recognition. It's a foreign concept to me. But evidently, they do it. And they do it because
It is just the right thing to do.
"The fruit of faith is Love. The fruit of love is Service. The fruit of service is Peace." --Mother Teresa
Monday, February 8, 2016
Einstein Was Not That Stupid
At one time or another, Albert Einstein has been credited with saying or writing just about every clever word ever uttered. Mark Twain runs a close second. Will Rogers no doubt comes in third.
Then, there's Honest Abe. I posted that famous quote on my Facebook timeline from Abraham Lincoln when Abe smartly opined, "You can't believe everything you read on the Internet."
The world wide interweb offers a daily deluge of meadow muffins because of our ability to take a tired cliche, drop it on a picture of, say, John Wayne, and within just a few hours, millions of people think the Duke said something that he simply was not bright enough to say.
One of the more famous attributions goes to Albert Einstein for defining insanity. Although, there is absolutely NO historical evidence to support the claim, Einstein supposedly defined insanity as "Doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results."
It's kind of cute. Maybe even a little clever. The Recovery folks have spouted this nonsense for years. It's even in their literature. The problem is this....IT'S JUST WRONG!
Just relax. Take a deep breath. Think about it. Really think about it. Expecting a different result is actually kind of healthy thinking. The desire for a different or better result is evidence of a healthy, positive mind. If this were not the case, no one in the world would ever cast a rod & reel in hopes of catching a fish. The professional fisherman or hobbyist will cast and cast and cast again with the certain expectation that the NEXT cast could very well bring a different result.
Stainless made this very clear to me several years ago during one of the darker points in my life. He lovingly and patiently pointed out that "Kevin, I know THEY are telling you that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. That is simply not true. You are doing the same thing over and over again, knowing *&%$ well what the result is going to be. And you are doing it ANYWAY! That sir, is insane!"
Hopefully you have had one of these "Ah Hah" moments! This was a game changer for me. This change in perception has profoundly impacted how I go about my daily walk.
Einstein was not stupid. Old Albert probably understood that "expecting a different result" is really healthy thinking. In fact, "expecting a different result" is really a sign of HOPE!
And isn't HOPE what we really need anyway?
Then, there's Honest Abe. I posted that famous quote on my Facebook timeline from Abraham Lincoln when Abe smartly opined, "You can't believe everything you read on the Internet."
The world wide interweb offers a daily deluge of meadow muffins because of our ability to take a tired cliche, drop it on a picture of, say, John Wayne, and within just a few hours, millions of people think the Duke said something that he simply was not bright enough to say.
One of the more famous attributions goes to Albert Einstein for defining insanity. Although, there is absolutely NO historical evidence to support the claim, Einstein supposedly defined insanity as "Doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results."
It's kind of cute. Maybe even a little clever. The Recovery folks have spouted this nonsense for years. It's even in their literature. The problem is this....IT'S JUST WRONG!
Just relax. Take a deep breath. Think about it. Really think about it. Expecting a different result is actually kind of healthy thinking. The desire for a different or better result is evidence of a healthy, positive mind. If this were not the case, no one in the world would ever cast a rod & reel in hopes of catching a fish. The professional fisherman or hobbyist will cast and cast and cast again with the certain expectation that the NEXT cast could very well bring a different result.
Stainless made this very clear to me several years ago during one of the darker points in my life. He lovingly and patiently pointed out that "Kevin, I know THEY are telling you that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. That is simply not true. You are doing the same thing over and over again, knowing *&%$ well what the result is going to be. And you are doing it ANYWAY! That sir, is insane!"
Hopefully you have had one of these "Ah Hah" moments! This was a game changer for me. This change in perception has profoundly impacted how I go about my daily walk.
Einstein was not stupid. Old Albert probably understood that "expecting a different result" is really healthy thinking. In fact, "expecting a different result" is really a sign of HOPE!
And isn't HOPE what we really need anyway?
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