It's been a while. Actually, it's been quite some time. Words just will not come for the Post that I really want to write. It's swimming around in my head somewhere. But I just cannot seem to spit it out. Maybe it will come. Maybe not. No doubt fear is providing the writer's block.
But, I heard a guy speak tonight. And I'm fairly certain that no sleep will come until I get this thought out of my head. It struck me hard. Kicked me right in the gut. Because he addressed one of my favorite topics. He was discussing problems. And boy oh boy, do I have problems! I am on record in regard to my problems. I've even been known to rudely express in large groups, "I know you people think you got problems. But my shi....stuff is REAL!"
Anyway, here's what the dude had to say.......He described a conversation he was having with a trusted friend. He was listing all his problems. Joblessness, IRS debt, no transportation, a number of ex wives, kids that despised him. The list went on and on and on. Problems, problems, problems!
After he had worn himself listing all his problems, his friend suggested, "Man, you don't have any problems. What you have are CONSEQUENCES!" The friend went on to encourage him to STOP trying to FIX the consequences and get real serious about FIXING the problem. And the problem was staring at him every morning as looked into the mirror to shave.
His talk went on for another half hour after that little nugget. But I heard very little of what he had left to say as my mind started racing applying this simple truth to all sorts of situations.... in my life, in your lives, and in the World in general!
My house's foundation certainly came to mind. Some of you are aware that we are just now on the back end of a major home renovation. It all started with the foundation. The situation was so bad that we had to move out of the house in order to install several piers inside the house. It may be one of the most traumatic experiences I've ever gone through. However, the foundation was not the problem. The foundation was a consequence of not maintaining the moisture levels around the perimeter of the house and letting the damage progress for several years after the first signs of an issue presented themselves. Consequently, for six weeks, we been fixing consequences. Not problems.
It's not too much of a stretch, to apply this same thinking to our country's abysmal situation. Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are consequences. They are NOT the problem. The whole system is so broke in Washington and nobody seems to have any interest in fixing the problem. That leaves us trying to fix the consequences. And believe me, both these scumbags are consequences.
I'm not much of an Economist. But is the $20 Trillion debt the problem? Nay, nay, thrice times nay! The debt is a consequence of years and years and years of not addressing the problem.
Crime, poverty, dope......
I can go on and on. But I find it too depressing. Just dream up any problem you can. Then ask yourself. Is it really the problem? Or is it a consequence?
I see a real need to get down to causes and conditions. And it hurts like hell to actually do that. As a rule, I refuse to address the problem. Therefore, I spend most of my time fixing consequences. I'm not convinced that you are any different.
It cost me a friendship a few weeks ago. A dear friend is so wrapped up in fixing consequences that she has NO idea what the problem is. In the middle of watching about 10 guys destroy my house, with my nerves running six inches out the ends of my fingers, and my brain too big for my head, she called. It was the same conversation we've had several dozen times. My tolerance and patience failed me. I was rude, caustic, and just plain mean. The loss of a friendship is NOT the problem. It is a consequence! Eventually, maybe one day, I will get down to the problem, to the actual causes and conditions of why I act that way.
My wife did not leave me today. But, hypothetically, let's just say that she packed all her stuff and hit the road. My problem would not be the potential loss of a marriage. The problem would be ME. And just what is it about me, that made her decide to pack her things and hit the road after 27 years of marriage? I'll say it again. Causes and conditions.
I suggest to you that we spend way too much of our energy and time fixing consequences. And that's a shame. And it's sad. Sad for me. Sad for you. And sad for this broken world.
Tuesday, November 29, 2016
Monday, June 6, 2016
Just Dad, Me, and Ali
Muhammad Ali died the other day. There was no where to turn this weekend without hearing or reading a tribute. I terrorized my family all weekend with that noteworthy line from Coming to America, "His Momma called him Clay. I call him Clay."
Cassius Clay was arguably the most famous man of the Twentieth Century on the Planet! There is NO WAY I am going to delve into all the facets of this icon's life. It has ALL been said. From the "Conscientious Objector," to the religious conversion, to the multiple marriages, to the kids (born both in and out of wedlock), there is simply nothing new to say. In fact, I DON'T CARE!
The theme, however, that I keep seeing repeated comes from the folks my age, that were born in the 60's. More than a good number of you just keep posting, "Muhammad Ali reminds me of time spent with Dad." And oh what a time it was!
Boxing was still Boxing back then. It had not yet become as authentic as professional wrestling and been ruined by some of the sorriest people to ever waste oxygen. It was on Network TV. It didn't cost $100 on PPV. It was broadcast via satellite all over the globe and it was the spectacle of spectacles!
There was no "school night" bedtime on the night of an Ali fight. My mom and sister would go to bed. But Dad and I would be glued to the television. We would mock Howard Cosell. But, in truth, was there anyone any better in the fight game? For some reason, the loss to Spinks stands out most in my mind. But watching an Ali fight with Dad are some of my greatest memories from childhood.
I met The Champ back in 1991. I shared an office with a dude whose wife worked for the property management company of the building we worked in. She called and said that Ali was in the lobby. I tore down there as fast as I could.
And there he was! Just him and a handler. Just the three of us. No crowds. No fans. No spectacle. I froze. I had no idea how to proceed.
His handler noticed me and said, "Son, you want an autograph?" I said "No, I'd just like to shake the Champ's hand." He then informed me that an autograph would be okay. He asked my name, turned to Ali and said, "It's Kevin, Ali." The Greatest just kind of grunted. He repeated, "He said Kevin, Ali."
Ali was holding a stack of pro Islamic tracts. The "To:" was already written, as was his name and the month and year. My stomach tied up in a knot as he wrote, with horribly shaking hands, "Kevin" and entered the day between the month and year on the date.
I then put my hand into the largest hand I have ever seen and shook The Champ's hand. I managed to stammer out, "It's an honor. Thank you." He threw a slow, shaking jab at my chin. And I walked away.
I found it difficult to get back to work. I felt ill. I told my office partner that I was almost sorry that I ran down there. I did not want to remember Muhammad Ali that way.
I only wanted remember the spectacle. I wanted to remember the interviews with that annoying Howard Cosell. I so wanted my lasting memory of the Greatest to be the nights of those nights, when it was just
Dad, me, and Ali.
Cassius Clay was arguably the most famous man of the Twentieth Century on the Planet! There is NO WAY I am going to delve into all the facets of this icon's life. It has ALL been said. From the "Conscientious Objector," to the religious conversion, to the multiple marriages, to the kids (born both in and out of wedlock), there is simply nothing new to say. In fact, I DON'T CARE!
The theme, however, that I keep seeing repeated comes from the folks my age, that were born in the 60's. More than a good number of you just keep posting, "Muhammad Ali reminds me of time spent with Dad." And oh what a time it was!
Boxing was still Boxing back then. It had not yet become as authentic as professional wrestling and been ruined by some of the sorriest people to ever waste oxygen. It was on Network TV. It didn't cost $100 on PPV. It was broadcast via satellite all over the globe and it was the spectacle of spectacles!
There was no "school night" bedtime on the night of an Ali fight. My mom and sister would go to bed. But Dad and I would be glued to the television. We would mock Howard Cosell. But, in truth, was there anyone any better in the fight game? For some reason, the loss to Spinks stands out most in my mind. But watching an Ali fight with Dad are some of my greatest memories from childhood.
I met The Champ back in 1991. I shared an office with a dude whose wife worked for the property management company of the building we worked in. She called and said that Ali was in the lobby. I tore down there as fast as I could.
And there he was! Just him and a handler. Just the three of us. No crowds. No fans. No spectacle. I froze. I had no idea how to proceed.
His handler noticed me and said, "Son, you want an autograph?" I said "No, I'd just like to shake the Champ's hand." He then informed me that an autograph would be okay. He asked my name, turned to Ali and said, "It's Kevin, Ali." The Greatest just kind of grunted. He repeated, "He said Kevin, Ali."
Ali was holding a stack of pro Islamic tracts. The "To:" was already written, as was his name and the month and year. My stomach tied up in a knot as he wrote, with horribly shaking hands, "Kevin" and entered the day between the month and year on the date.
I then put my hand into the largest hand I have ever seen and shook The Champ's hand. I managed to stammer out, "It's an honor. Thank you." He threw a slow, shaking jab at my chin. And I walked away.
I found it difficult to get back to work. I felt ill. I told my office partner that I was almost sorry that I ran down there. I did not want to remember Muhammad Ali that way.
I only wanted remember the spectacle. I wanted to remember the interviews with that annoying Howard Cosell. I so wanted my lasting memory of the Greatest to be the nights of those nights, when it was just
Dad, me, and Ali.
Thursday, May 19, 2016
In Defense of Millennials!
BP posted a video about Millennials on The Facebook the other day and it was hilarious! I did not share it with The Angel Baby because her mother implored me to not use that word so much this Summer. I honored that request for about forty-eight hours and then went on one of my rants, pointing out the same tired "talking points" about what a pathetic generation that has arisen!
I know! I know! They got trophies for going winless on their 5 year old soccer teams. Their sports leagues no longer keep scores in order to protect their self-esteem. They cannot handle criticism and think they deserve pay raises for their perfect attendance!
The list goes on and on and on. They are easy to pick on. They make good targets. It's almost as though they deserve it. I would like, however, to make a few points that are worthy of consideration before we flush this generation down the toilet:
1) THEY DO NOT CARE! Our criticism of them slides right down their backs. In spite of our scorn, they continue to trudge along the best way they know how. They are coming out of College with an average of $30,000 in loans. Is the cost of higher education their fault? They know that 99% of corporations won't even look at their resumes if they are non-degreed. In fact, one Hiring Manager shared with me that he can only consider candidates with a degree from a list of FIVE universities! Did the Millennials set this ridiculous standard? I think not. But this is the burden that has been placed on them and they are DOING IT ANYWAY!
2) THEY ARE MORE AUTHENTIC THAN WE EVER WERE! They are disgusted by our shallowness and yearn for something real! That's why they are pouring out of churches like rats off a sinking ship. Religion, as we taught it, is so plastic and fake. They don't see the point of the "going through the motions" like we do every Sunday morning and they have disengaged from the lack of genuine spirituality.
3) THEY REALLY NEED TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE! I can name a whole list of Millennials that are ALL about serving others. They go on Mission trips. They visit orphanages. They are obsessed with providing clean water to third world counties. They even go to Animal Shelters, just to pet the homeless animals, for crying out loud!
4) THEY ARE WAY LESS MATERIALISTIC THAN WE WERE! They could not give a popcorn fart about wearing Calvin Kleins or if their shirt has a horsey or an alligator on it! They shop at Thrift Stores and for the most part, go to class, worship, and work looking homeless, if they can get away with it.
Oh, for the most part, I still think they are a sorry generation. In spite of the above comments, they do present themselves as a tad "entitled" sometimes. I'm just not convinced that they are the sorriest generation.
After all: Just WHO gave them the trophies? WHO insisted that we no longer keep score? WHO drove their college tuitions sky high? WHO mandated that they be college educated and that it be at one of five Universities? WHO carried them to churches that look like Museums for Saints?
I may not know much. But I know the Millennials didn't!
I know! I know! They got trophies for going winless on their 5 year old soccer teams. Their sports leagues no longer keep scores in order to protect their self-esteem. They cannot handle criticism and think they deserve pay raises for their perfect attendance!
The list goes on and on and on. They are easy to pick on. They make good targets. It's almost as though they deserve it. I would like, however, to make a few points that are worthy of consideration before we flush this generation down the toilet:
1) THEY DO NOT CARE! Our criticism of them slides right down their backs. In spite of our scorn, they continue to trudge along the best way they know how. They are coming out of College with an average of $30,000 in loans. Is the cost of higher education their fault? They know that 99% of corporations won't even look at their resumes if they are non-degreed. In fact, one Hiring Manager shared with me that he can only consider candidates with a degree from a list of FIVE universities! Did the Millennials set this ridiculous standard? I think not. But this is the burden that has been placed on them and they are DOING IT ANYWAY!
2) THEY ARE MORE AUTHENTIC THAN WE EVER WERE! They are disgusted by our shallowness and yearn for something real! That's why they are pouring out of churches like rats off a sinking ship. Religion, as we taught it, is so plastic and fake. They don't see the point of the "going through the motions" like we do every Sunday morning and they have disengaged from the lack of genuine spirituality.
3) THEY REALLY NEED TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE! I can name a whole list of Millennials that are ALL about serving others. They go on Mission trips. They visit orphanages. They are obsessed with providing clean water to third world counties. They even go to Animal Shelters, just to pet the homeless animals, for crying out loud!
4) THEY ARE WAY LESS MATERIALISTIC THAN WE WERE! They could not give a popcorn fart about wearing Calvin Kleins or if their shirt has a horsey or an alligator on it! They shop at Thrift Stores and for the most part, go to class, worship, and work looking homeless, if they can get away with it.
Oh, for the most part, I still think they are a sorry generation. In spite of the above comments, they do present themselves as a tad "entitled" sometimes. I'm just not convinced that they are the sorriest generation.
After all: Just WHO gave them the trophies? WHO insisted that we no longer keep score? WHO drove their college tuitions sky high? WHO mandated that they be college educated and that it be at one of five Universities? WHO carried them to churches that look like Museums for Saints?
I may not know much. But I know the Millennials didn't!
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