I'm not sure what you called it when you were kids. We called it "rolling." Anytime the Horizontal Hold was amok, the TV would roll. It was maddening. And it took a very steady hand to turn the Horizontal Hold knob and get it in just the right place.
The TV also had a Vertical Hold knob. But I do not recall the Vertical Hold ever being amok. Vertically, the TV was fine. Horizontally, it was often a mess.
If you haven't caught the application, then Bless Your Heart. It's been on my mind every day, while experiencing one of the most difficult weeks of my life.
I meditated daily on my Vertical Relationship. I thought about just WHERE do I get my value? Just where does my security come from? And it is becoming abundantly clearer and clearer, that there is nothing in my life more important than my Vertical Relationship (finger points skyward). And when my vertical hold is in place, all the horizontal relationships seem to fall in line.
HOWEVER, when my Vertical Hold is off kilter, all my Horizontal relationships suffer. As soon as I start getting my value and security from a horizontal relationship, my mind moves into a VERY bad neighborhood.
It's much easier to spot it in you. I see you getting your value and security in education, jobs, spouses, kids, grand-kids, bank accounts, houses, recreation, yes even church....the list goes on ad infinitum. I can see it clearly in you. But I fail to see it in me. More often than not, someone close to me has to point it out.
Someone has to pull me aside and say, "Kevin, you're getting your sense of worth out of your horizontal relationships!" Brother, there are dark and dreary days ahead for you!"
So, even though the Vertical Hold was always okay on the TV, it doesn't appear to be that way with me. I need to grab the Vertical Hold button and get it back into place. The Vertical Hold button needs adjusting before I can even think about grabbing the Horizontal Hold and stop this thing from rolling!
Monday, October 6, 2014
Sunday, September 28, 2014
Pert Near A Man of the Cloth
Hours upon hours upon hours of phone conversations and face to face discussions have chased me back to the quiet solitude of the Blog----Cheaper Than Therapy.
It has indeed been a crazy few months. Some of you know. Most of you are unaware. Over the last few months, I've been preaching for a small, local congregation. Stop it! There's no need to LOL and take shots. I've heard all the quips and have even taken a few jabs at myself in the mirror.
The reasons for accepting this challenge are many and some of them are not easily explained. First and foremost, I was ASKED. It REALLY is that simple! I was asked to be of service and I agreed to do it. Nothing more. Nothing less. I spend most of my days in an earnest attempt to do the next, right, apparent thing in front of me. This request seemed to meet that criteria and I took on the task with all the enthusiasm I could muster.
It was not easy. I own a small company and have to work every day. As I rode around in my little truck, I would meditate on possible ideas for Sunday. At some point on Saturday, I would try to get some sort of an outline on the computer. I would always be up by 6 AM on Sunday to finish up what I had obviously not done the day before. After lunch on Sunday, I would sleep ALL afternoon. I found the exercise to be emotionally and physically exhausting.
The congregation rallied around me and was in the process of taking this thing to the next level. Of course, there was one naysayer. But he only opposed me because he wanted the job. We (the congregation and I) were in discussions to fulfill a life-long desire of mine and make me a full time preaching minister. It was SO close it was almost surreal.
I QUIT today. I ended my sermon by saying that it would be my last time to stand behind that pulpit. Teressa was the only one in the room that knew I was going to do it. I am sad. I am disheartened. I'm a little discouraged. But I am NOT bitter. I am grateful. I am thankful. The lessons learned will last a lifetime.
I will close this out by making a few random observations with no apparent logical progression:
1) I owe an amends to EVERY preacher that I have terrorized over the years. I have now had "an apple out of that sack" and I shutter to think of comments that I've made to preachers over the years.
2) Most religious people are very comfortable "playing church" and they don't bristle at alternate suggestions. They don't even hear them to begin with.
3) Even in churches not given to "ceremony," the desire for Clergy is still very prevalent.
4) Evidently, 99% of preachers in the business are making NO practical application of scripture. I would make very simple applications (what this text means at 8 AM on Monday). Even the "lifers" responded like it was ideas they had NEVER heard.
5) Christians are just as "self-centered", often times, even more so than non-Christians. I don't blame them, fault them, or judge them. Bless their hearts! Their denial is SO strong. They truly have no idea that most of their time is spent in useless contemplation of their very own navels.
I grew to love these people and although they started from a position of tolerance, they grew to love me. I will be in prayer for them tonight and in the days ahead.
I was "pert near a Man of the Cloth." In the end, RELIGION got in the way. It's not a new problem. It goes back thousands of years. Sadly, the biggest obstacle standing between us and God is very often NOT sin........it's Religion. May God forgive us!
It has indeed been a crazy few months. Some of you know. Most of you are unaware. Over the last few months, I've been preaching for a small, local congregation. Stop it! There's no need to LOL and take shots. I've heard all the quips and have even taken a few jabs at myself in the mirror.
The reasons for accepting this challenge are many and some of them are not easily explained. First and foremost, I was ASKED. It REALLY is that simple! I was asked to be of service and I agreed to do it. Nothing more. Nothing less. I spend most of my days in an earnest attempt to do the next, right, apparent thing in front of me. This request seemed to meet that criteria and I took on the task with all the enthusiasm I could muster.
It was not easy. I own a small company and have to work every day. As I rode around in my little truck, I would meditate on possible ideas for Sunday. At some point on Saturday, I would try to get some sort of an outline on the computer. I would always be up by 6 AM on Sunday to finish up what I had obviously not done the day before. After lunch on Sunday, I would sleep ALL afternoon. I found the exercise to be emotionally and physically exhausting.
The congregation rallied around me and was in the process of taking this thing to the next level. Of course, there was one naysayer. But he only opposed me because he wanted the job. We (the congregation and I) were in discussions to fulfill a life-long desire of mine and make me a full time preaching minister. It was SO close it was almost surreal.
I QUIT today. I ended my sermon by saying that it would be my last time to stand behind that pulpit. Teressa was the only one in the room that knew I was going to do it. I am sad. I am disheartened. I'm a little discouraged. But I am NOT bitter. I am grateful. I am thankful. The lessons learned will last a lifetime.
I will close this out by making a few random observations with no apparent logical progression:
1) I owe an amends to EVERY preacher that I have terrorized over the years. I have now had "an apple out of that sack" and I shutter to think of comments that I've made to preachers over the years.
2) Most religious people are very comfortable "playing church" and they don't bristle at alternate suggestions. They don't even hear them to begin with.
3) Even in churches not given to "ceremony," the desire for Clergy is still very prevalent.
4) Evidently, 99% of preachers in the business are making NO practical application of scripture. I would make very simple applications (what this text means at 8 AM on Monday). Even the "lifers" responded like it was ideas they had NEVER heard.
5) Christians are just as "self-centered", often times, even more so than non-Christians. I don't blame them, fault them, or judge them. Bless their hearts! Their denial is SO strong. They truly have no idea that most of their time is spent in useless contemplation of their very own navels.
I grew to love these people and although they started from a position of tolerance, they grew to love me. I will be in prayer for them tonight and in the days ahead.
I was "pert near a Man of the Cloth." In the end, RELIGION got in the way. It's not a new problem. It goes back thousands of years. Sadly, the biggest obstacle standing between us and God is very often NOT sin........it's Religion. May God forgive us!
Thursday, May 22, 2014
Live Like You Were Dying
I'm not going into the whole story. The bottom line is that I have never felt more compelled to write a post. My heart is heavy and I just feel so sad! And powerless? There are no words to describe the absolute powerlessness that I have been wrestling with since Friday night.
Many readers of this blog know Randy Bean's situation and have read Robin's updates at https://www.mylifeline.org/randybean/updates. I knew Tuesday when the update's first line was "This is a difficult post to write...." that I was going to be forced to do the same. This is a very difficult post to write.
Robin was a member of the famed RLT Class of '83 and a member of the same church youth group that I was. Robin is a GOOD! Nothing like me. She's quiet, kinda shy, and never seeks to draw attention to herself. Candidly, we were never really that close. She would never align herself with a loud, arrogant, attention-seeking A** like me. I would suppose that most of her responses to me, back in the day, would be a simple head shake, while thinking "Who in the world does this clown think he is?"
A little over a year ago, Robin's husband, Randy, was diagnosed with some sort of inoperable brain tumor that I can neither spell nor pronounce. A year nearly went by before I reached out. That was in January. Sunday night was the second time. Two times in 15 months. God forgive me!
I sat with Robin for a few hours back in January while Randy was having a shunt inserted to relieve the pressure on his brain. I have never felt more powerless or ill-equipped to be in any situation.
I was SUPPOSED to be the one doing the encouraging! Just the opposite occurred. Robin encouraged me. Her strength, determination, and sense of peace was unlike anything I have encountered in a long time. I left the hospital numb and made several phone calls on the drive home just trying to process the whole experience.
Randy and Robin are raising two boys with Down Syndrome. Barring Divine intervention, Robin will soon be facing this prospect alone. I CANNOT imagine! But Robin CAN! And in those few short hours, I encountered and learned a lot about a Mother's love. Robin's concern for these two boys and her absolute dedication to their well-being is beyond measure. I will not try to quote her exact words. But I truly wish each of you could look into her eyes when she talks about her boys.
Through the generosity of friends and strangers, Randy has been given the opportunity to live like he was dying. He took his boys on a trip to Colorado and recently, just he and Robin got to get away. Tim McGraw's song has a special meaning for Randy and Robin. I am just so grateful that they got to go "Rocky Mountain Climbing."
Think of the Bean family often over the next weeks. And if you pray, please ask God to wrap His loving arms around this family.
Post Script: As soon as I re-activated my FB account, I learned that Gail Jones Criss's (also the Class of '83 and another member of that same church youth group) Husband has Stage 4 Lung Cancer. I would ask the same for them.
Many readers of this blog know Randy Bean's situation and have read Robin's updates at https://www.mylifeline.org/randybean/updates. I knew Tuesday when the update's first line was "This is a difficult post to write...." that I was going to be forced to do the same. This is a very difficult post to write.
Robin was a member of the famed RLT Class of '83 and a member of the same church youth group that I was. Robin is a GOOD! Nothing like me. She's quiet, kinda shy, and never seeks to draw attention to herself. Candidly, we were never really that close. She would never align herself with a loud, arrogant, attention-seeking A** like me. I would suppose that most of her responses to me, back in the day, would be a simple head shake, while thinking "Who in the world does this clown think he is?"
A little over a year ago, Robin's husband, Randy, was diagnosed with some sort of inoperable brain tumor that I can neither spell nor pronounce. A year nearly went by before I reached out. That was in January. Sunday night was the second time. Two times in 15 months. God forgive me!
I sat with Robin for a few hours back in January while Randy was having a shunt inserted to relieve the pressure on his brain. I have never felt more powerless or ill-equipped to be in any situation.
I was SUPPOSED to be the one doing the encouraging! Just the opposite occurred. Robin encouraged me. Her strength, determination, and sense of peace was unlike anything I have encountered in a long time. I left the hospital numb and made several phone calls on the drive home just trying to process the whole experience.
Randy and Robin are raising two boys with Down Syndrome. Barring Divine intervention, Robin will soon be facing this prospect alone. I CANNOT imagine! But Robin CAN! And in those few short hours, I encountered and learned a lot about a Mother's love. Robin's concern for these two boys and her absolute dedication to their well-being is beyond measure. I will not try to quote her exact words. But I truly wish each of you could look into her eyes when she talks about her boys.
Through the generosity of friends and strangers, Randy has been given the opportunity to live like he was dying. He took his boys on a trip to Colorado and recently, just he and Robin got to get away. Tim McGraw's song has a special meaning for Randy and Robin. I am just so grateful that they got to go "Rocky Mountain Climbing."
Think of the Bean family often over the next weeks. And if you pray, please ask God to wrap His loving arms around this family.
Post Script: As soon as I re-activated my FB account, I learned that Gail Jones Criss's (also the Class of '83 and another member of that same church youth group) Husband has Stage 4 Lung Cancer. I would ask the same for them.
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