REALLY! It Is Better To Look Stupid!

Old, tired clichés are certainly an easy topic when writing a blog. I've tried to avoid falling into that trap. In fact, I've really had the feeling that "this is the last one" with each of my last five or six entries.

But then, I have to venture out into the world and deal with you. And you continue to provide more material on a daily basis than I could ever hope to address. Remember, I just don't DO you very well. My old friend Casey best summed it up when he said, "People just aren't my kind of people." Truer words have never been uttered. The reality of that statement makes me just want to sit and weep.

Which leads me to the old, tired cliché that "It's better to look stupid than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

In the last four days alone, it seems that everyone I encounter is hell-bent on removing ALL doubt! On Saturday, the consequences of this reality could have been catastrophic. Had I not removed myself from the situation, there was a very high probability that a man who was "removing all doubt" was going to end up in the hospital and I was going to spend the night in jail! This cretin really needed to shut his mouth and apparently, I was the only one willing to shut it for him.

Then today, the very relaxing activity of simply reading a Blog about Grace worked me into a complete lather. This Bible Scholar pontificated about Grace and gave the example of how Jesus handled the potential stoning of the adulterous woman at the Well. Dude! The "woman at the well" and the "woman caught in adultery" are TWO different stories! Is it really necessary to show just how illiterate and ignorant you are and blast it onto the World Wide Web?

Evidently, for this moron, it is necessary. And today, at this very moment, I'm trying to be okay with that.

My spiritual advisers have devised a "3 Question" test for me that has turned out to be the hardest and toughest test I have to take on a daily basis:

1) Does it need to be said?

2) Does it need to be said right now?

3) Does it need to be said right now, by me?

In the core of my very being, the answers are Yes, Yes, and Hell Yes! But I am getting old and quite frankly, I am getting tired.

On Saturday, I excused myself from a potentially volatile situation. I answered the test with three NO's.  I simply got into my truck and drove away. Today, the answers were NO again when I really wanted to embarrass that Blow-Hard in the comments section of his blog. I just closed the link and kind of felt sorry for the guy.

After all, another old, tired cliché says that "Ignorance is Bliss!" If that's true, these two idiots are some of the happiest guys on the Planet.

Who am I to rob them of their happiness?

Not My Hill To Die On!

I can't get this topic out of my mind. The problem is that I can absolutely give NO specific examples  to clarify what I'm talking about. Within the past few weeks, I've encountered some examples of people who are hell-bent on Majoring on the Minors and it's making me insane!

There is a reason I cannot cite the examples. Most of my readers would think they were COMPLETELY fictitious. There are a few of you who would believe them.  You are members of the same faith tradition as me. The rest of you would conclude that I've jumped into the realm of fiction just to have something to harp on.

I SO wish this was the case! There are no words. Stupid, asinine, ridiculous....No! These words do not even begin to describe some people that have STRONG convictions about the most INSIGNIFICANT issues that one could ever imagine!

We often call it "majoring on the minors." And, oh the stories I could tell! I shan't tell them because they completely brain damage me. And I would rather stop that with me instead of dumping that onto you.

I stole a phrase from a preacher a few years ago. I am shocked at my honest admission of that. Even a casual reader of Cheaper Than Therapy can see what low regard I hold for these guys. Anyway, in explaining a fairly narrow-minded OPINION, this older gentleman acknowledged, "That's the way I would prefer it to be. But that's not my hill to die on."

I found this remark to show both self-awareness and wisdom. And I now take a certain amount of pride when my daughter, Jentry, says "Dad, you always say that!"

As I get older, I strive more and more to major on the majors. It actually gets easier with time. It really does. It gets easier just from observing what's going on around me. The battles some of you choose. The "lines in the sand" some you draw. I just wish you could get a view from the outside and see how MORONIC you really look.

The Carpenter made very clear the NUMBER 1 and NUMBER 2 Commands. Love God. Love your neighbor.

So, I will let you decide what number 3 is. No matter what you come up with......at its highest rank.....it can only be number 3.

And for those of you who choose to major on the minors and "die on that hill," trust me, it's not that your minor is 1,894th on the list. It's NOT on the list at all.

The World Could Use A Few More Glossophobics!

Google has been running an Ad recently about a little kid that utilizes his Google 7" Tablet to research and overcome his glossophobia. I don't think any real dictionary defines the word "glossophobia." I had certainly never heard of it. And I fancy myself a true sesquipedalian! But apparently "glossophobia" is simply the fear of public speaking.

Some studies suggest that as much as 75% of the inhabitants of the Planet struggle with glossophobia.  I am  extremely saddened by the fact that this estimate is not closer to 95%!

In my observation, about 5% of the population does not struggle with glossophobia and they shouldn't. They actually have some talent. Then, there's another 20%,  who do not have the fear of public speaking. But they absolutely have NO talent that would justify their desire to up in front of people.

I suppose this apparent lack of glossophobia further advances Al the Barber's and Shoe's notion that the biggest problem facing mankind is a total lack of self-awareness. (Editorial Note: Shoe has started his own blog that is devoted entirely to self-awareness. I'm just not ready to endorse it yet, for fear of being struck by lightning---it's decidedly not a G-Rated Blog).

This lack of glossophobia is no where more apparent than on the religious radio broadcasts and behind some of the pulpits of big time churches here in the Metroplex. I shan't name their names. But I am embarrassed for them! These men must stand before ignorant sheeple every Sunday and for whatever reason actually believe these folks when they say "Good Job" as they rush out the door and head to the cafeteria. As a matter of fact, the delusion goes much broader as they actually raise big time money to broadcast their Speech 101 failures on the radio! What a tremendous example of poor stewardship of God's money!

There is no way to estimate how many sermons I've heard in my life. I do know this as a certainty. I can remember absolutely NONE of them!

But, I will never forget JR, a sweet little old lady who never left her house without a freshly baked pie to deliver to a shut-in. I have vivid memories of coming home late (our house sat adjacent to the church building) and DS being up under the church bus doing repairs at 1:00 in the morning. I cannot number how many hand-written notes of encouragement I received from AD during my high school days.

I know without a shadow of doubt that these three people were intensely glossophobic! But man oh man, could they ever preach!