A Gentle Gentile Rabbi

We lost Robert a few weeks ago. Roughly three weeks after thinking he probably had kidney stones, Robert passed away from a very rare and aggressive form of cancer that I can neither spell nor pronounce. His death has left a huge void in the lives of many. Some 80 of us, gathered in a Zoom Room three days ago to celebrate his life. The outpouring of love was tremendous.

I didn't speak up. I wanted to. I certainly felt that I was more "qualified" than 80% of the folks who did. After all, I had spent countless hours in lunches, dinners, and phone calls with Robert in which we solved the world's problems and lamented as to why everyone else wasn't as intelligent as we were and why they just didn't get it.

Unlike me, however, Robert was a real genius. I actually know what his IQ was....and lets just say it was WAY higher than what is traditionally considered genius level. He knew I wasn't his equal. But he admired my willingness to play the imposter and try to hang with him in conversation. He actually complimented me in reference to that on more than one occasion.

Robert was a Seeker of Truth and God's Will for his life. His studies had lead him to believe that the Torah (the Law, the 10 Commandments) were still in full effect and that nothing had nullified them. He even practiced the dietary restrictions contained in the Torah and held all the teaching there to be of utmost importance.

Consequently, we had hours and hours of lively discussion and debate. It is only now after a few weeks of reflection that I can now see that Robert, for nearly 14 years, had become a Rabbi to me. Rabbi simply means Teacher. And man oh man did he ever teach me some very valuable lessons!

Robert taught me how to love my wife better. He adored his wife Karen and she was  integral to everything he talked about and lived. I cannot count the times, after seeing perfect strangers pray before a meal in public, Robert would go straight to his wallet, pull out a couple of 20s and go pay for their meal. The first few times, all I could say was "Dude!!!" He reminded me that Karen had taught him that practice and by following her example, he honored her each and every time. 

Robert taught me how to maintain my sanity while attempting to run a small business. Like me, Robert was a small business owner. It was easy for us to fall into pity parties during leaner times and just beat each other down with our tales of woe. But in the end, he would fall back into his Biblical studies and usually conclude these conversations with, "Well, Kev, just like the children of Israel, we always seem to get our daily manna. So, evidently, God knows exactly what we need."

Robert taught me how to understand God's love. He illustrated it in such an elementary way. I suppose he understood that was the only way I could get it. He would say, "Kev, have you ever been to a first dance recital of 4 and 5 year olds? They are truly awful! Those little kids have no idea what they are doing. Yet, in the back of the room, there is a Dad with a thousand dollar camera and a 24 inch telephoto zoom lens. He has that camera zoomed on his little girl and, to him, she is the greatest dancer in the world."

He would go on to explain to me that's how God is looking at me. He said, "God has his camera zoomed in on you Kev. And you are awful at what you are trying to do. But God is looking at you and saying, 'There's my boy, Kevin. He's really bad at life. He's messing it up. He's sticking his foot in his mouth. He's seemingly doing everything wrong. But he's just the way I made him. And he is mine.'"

These stories could go on and on and on. It's taken losing  Robert, for me to realize what an earthly Rabbi he had become to me. And today, I miss my Rabbi.

We All Wish We Were Bit More Like Joseph

I am sitting here at my desk in tears as I have just learned of the death of Joseph Bordelon. I have no idea what to write. But I knew I had to get something down, in order to, in some way, pay respect to my long time friend.

I had a class with Joseph EVERY day of my High School career. We took French for 4 years together. I messaged Barbara Fatheree Gilbert as soon as I read the news this morning. I know she will be heartbroken as well.

If we were all asked to describe Joseph in one word, hundreds of words come to mind. Quirky. Eccentric. Just plain weird. In High School, he was a sports fanatic. He had composition books filled with data and statistics. I remember one book he compiled that had every professional sports stadium in America. It had the construction dates, seating capacities, type of playing surfaces, It had everything. He had spent hours and hours compiling this data. Remember, there was no Google then. I have no idea how he gathered all this information. And that is just one example of dozens of composition books filled with hundreds of hours of research.

But I will not remember Joseph with the words of quirky, eccentric, and weird. I will remember Joseph with words like compassion, love, encouraging, and available.

I don't know that Joseph had a single negative attribute in his soul.

He was the  first to post an encouraging word about any life event. He expressed an absolute genuine interest in ALL of us and I know you have all been beneficiaries of his words of encouragement.

He loved the Class of '83, and all the other classes of RLT. He was the driving force behind our class reunions. At our 30th, I thought I was dancing with Donna Calhoun. In reality, Donna Calhoun and I were dancing with Joseph. It was absolute joy!

I know the word. It just came to me. It's only a four letter word. Joseph Bordelon, Jr was the human embodiment of the word KIND. It's just that simple. Kindness was all he knew!

Kindness is missing in our world today. And the world will not be the same without Joseph's expressions of kindness.

In his memory, I want to commit to being just a little more kind. Joseph was the best example of it I have ever known. And right now all I can think is that I want to be a bit more like Joseph!

Sailing! Sailing! Over the Ocean Blue!

I'm not sure how many of my tens of loyal readers know the significance of April Fools' Day this year. It was fairly meaningful as the Missus and I celebrated 30 years of marriage. Those that know me consider this milestone nothing short of miraculous. Might be. I think the word miracle is thrown around a little too casually these days. But that's another post for another day.

Anyhoo..............at Christmas time, with our little clan assembled, I asked the kids if they would join us on a family vacay in honor of this anniversary. They readily accepted. I think they did, anyway. They might have accepted with fear, trepidation and only out of a sense of responsibility. After all, can anyone imagine having any fun with me, for crying out loud?

Trying to decide what kind of trip to take was mind numbing! I shan't bore you with all the details. VRBO, Airbnb, beaches, mountains, all-inclusives, Redneck Riviera, Cabo, Puerto Vallarta, Gulf Shores, Destin, Pensacola......this list could go on ad infinitum. The interwebs have a way of making this process exhausting. And the whole premise of entering an email address on most sites result in dozens of emails on a daily basis. But no one ever accused me of being the sharpest knife in the drawer.

In the midst of all the tired head that comes as a result of this kind of decision, the questionable and controversial idea of a Cruise kept getting a lot of brain space. Of course, one of our party of 5 had been on a cruise. A few years ago, T had done the short, unimpressive route from Rome to Monte Carlo on a Mediterranean Cruise! I was fairly certain that we were not going to one up that little excursion!

Looooong story short, I booked us on a little 5 day adventure on one of those rust buckets out of Galveston. The anxiety, nerves, emotions, fears and everything that goes with spending any time in my brain are unexplainable. I cannot put into words how BADLY I needed this to be the trip of a lifetime and for my wife and kids to enjoy themselves!

My biggest character defect is the brutal, almost incomprehensible, expectations I set for everything and everyone in my life. And you know what? My expectations were exceeded!

From the rocking of the ship, to the Mayan Ruins, to the pineapple with chili powder in a very impoverished village, to the silly shows, to the quiet time reading on the balcony, to the cheeseburger in paradise on Paradise Beach, to the quiet time in prayer, I would not have changed a thing!

We absolutely pulled it off, in spite of me. We shared our lives, our laughter, and our love for each other every night in the main dining room, while Jay and Ishwar served us with seeming joy.

For the most part, I suffer from a ridiculous lack of gratitude. But not today. I am grateful beyond words. And once again, the open seas provided just what I needed.